


you could be more as you are

by Jooeeooo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Bad Boy Park Chanyeol, ChanBaek - Freeform, How Do I Tag, M/M, Nerdy Byun Baekhyun, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, semi-weird mentions of religion but not really, they are neighbours, they go to christian school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:29:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jooeeooo/pseuds/Jooeeooo
Summary: Life is hard when you go to the same christian school as your hot neighbour and you're totally gay for him.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	you could be more as you are

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooo!  
> this is a typical high school romance because i am a complete sucker for those. i tried giving it my own twist but i really don't know how that turned out hahaha  
> the important part is that english isn't my first language  
> also this is my first fanfic on ao3! i hope you have fun reading it!  
> i really don't know what else to add...
> 
> (actually the part concerning religion in the tags isn't major in the story i just really don't wanna offend anybody :o)  
> (title from the song by saada bonaire)

It was 12 sharp when the doorbell rang.

Chanyeol heard his mom opening the door which was followed by light banter that he couldn't quite make out. Who it might have been at his doorstep, he didn't know, they were new in the neighbourhood and all his parents' friends lived far away from their new house. He just hoped it wasn't the next-door neighbours trying to 'welcome them in the area' and all those bulls-

“Chanyeol come down to meet our neighbours!”

Oh great. Of course, they were.  _ Let's just get this over with. _

He reluctantly walked down the stairs, wondering why,  _ just why  _ did he have to go through this. He had better things to do, he was in the middle of the very important unpacking of his, unfortunately rather small, music collection after all.

The neighbours turned out to be this friendly-looking lady in her late 30s to early 40s. Nicely dressed, kind of conservatively but still casual, your normal suburban mum. She was looking calm and kind, but Chanyeol could tell that she was quietly judging his dusty, rag like sweatpants and his piercings despite her bright smile. He wasn't offended, his parents were also very disapproving of his appearance. Good thing at least that the neighbour lady had brought cookies with her as a welcoming gift.

And even better, she had also brought her son.

He looked like they were about the same age, he was shorter than Chanyeol for sure but he seemed to be quite fit. Actually, he looked kind of intimidating but that was probably the total black outfit he wore, that was just as elegant and thought out as his mother's was. All Chanyeol could think was  _ nice _ . He suddenly didn't think that his new neighbourhood was  _ that  _ bad.

“Hello” he greeted the strangers while eyeing up the boy in front of him from head to toe, wanting to take a better look at his pretty neighbour, trying his best to be discreet (and most likely failing). Said boy responded with a warm smile just as Chanyeol’s mom was speaking up.

“And this is my son, Chanyeol. Chanyeol these are the Byuns, they live just a house away across the street.”

“Nice to meet you”. he said while trying his absolute best to not let his awkwardness eat him whole. 

“I’m Baekhyun” the boy introduced himself as he, very professionally, extended a hand for Chanyeol to shake (which he did gladly). “From what your mother has told, we will be in the same school.”

Oh yeah. The school. He had almost forgotten about it.  _ Almost. _

Don't get him wrong, he wasn't the best student sure, but he actually made an effort, alright? No, the thing that was bothering him was his new school itself. Unfortunately, moving houses also meant moving schools, since his old one was basically across the town. His new school was ‘Saint George's Boys’ Academy’. A Christian school. Now if you do the maths, Chanyeol (a gay) plus St. George's (a Christian school) equals… well… nothing good for sure… But with his parents’ over the top Christian beliefs, you can imagine why things were a bit complicated. Also, you could say that Chanyeol didn't have the best behaviour exactly… So his parents thought that Catholic school might 'do him some good' or 'put him on the right path'. And sadly he wasn't really able to complain. He had tried of course, but it was to no avail.

“Baekhyun here is also a volunteer in the local church and he also plays the organ!” his mother said as she nudged his side. Thing that clearly stated to Chanyeol  _ look what a good kid Baekhyun is, can't you be the same? _

Chanyeol wanted to scream. The one hot dude in the neighbourhood (so far) not only goes to Christian school but he is also a literal goodie little church mouse. So the possibility of him liking boys -as Chanyeol runs the calculations in his mind- is about… 0%. Actually, if he's being honest, Chanyeol was more afraid of the blatant homophobia that usually came with overly religious people, in his experience at least (read: his parents). And it sucks even more when the homophobe is the cute boy next door.

“Good to know.” he tried to put on his best smile, he really did. He already knew he was going to move in a very religious neighbourhood, but the thought hadn't really sunk in. Guess that was his reality now. Church and Christian school and hostility and ugh. How could he ever keep up with this?

“Well, we should probably be going now! Let you get finished with unpacking and all. It was very nice meeting you, if you need anything just knock on our door!” Baekhyun’s mom spoke. They left just like that with Chanyeol’s mother thanking them for the cookies and promising to invite them over for dinner when they get the house all ready.

Chanyeol wasn't feeling his best.

###

"Your place or mine today?" Chanyeol asked, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"Mine will be fine I think," Baekhyun replied, stealing the lighter from Chanyeol's hand to light up his own - Chanyeol's heart surely didn't miss a beat from the sudden skin contact. After more than a month of hanging out together, it was still kind of weird to watch Baekhyun, quiet little Baekhyun that never missed church on Sundays and whom all the teachers adored, smoke. He almost couldn't believe it the first time Baekhyun had lit a cigarette in front of him.

They were currently at 'the place' aka the space behind the old gym building, that was currently being renovated and thus out of use, where the students of St. George's came to have a smoke in between periods. Thankfully the premises of the school were huge and the old gym was quite far from the main buildings so teachers never even stepped near there.

They had made a hobby out of hanging out after school every Friday (and sometimes other days too). It began at the church actually, which Chanyeol couldn't avoid due to his father's constant complaining. His mum, being his mum, decided to casually scold him for not studying -out of all things- after the service in front of everyone (you know, as one does). It was then that Baekhyun had oh so kindly offered to help him with studying since his grades were excellent.  _ "Only if you want to, of course" _ . Chanyeol didn't really want a tutor nor a babysitter, but he guessed that spending a bit more time with his pretty neighbour would do no harm. And so they had decided to meet up every week after school and study together. Even though most of the time they'd end up playing video games, Chanyeol actually found himself doing quite a bit of productive work, definitely more than he would do on his own. Who would have thought?

So, as it was planned, Chanyeol found himself sitting on Baekhyun's bedroom floor, quickly finding comfort after a few times visiting Baekhyun's house, books open next to him and his neighbour. The said neighbour was typing away on his laptop, they were supposed to do an English assignment. Chanyeol was kind of helping with the character analysis at first, but he got bored and ultimately resorted to tapping rhythmically his pen on his notebook as his eyes focused on the way Baekhyun's lips would pout a little when he was thinking about what to write next.

"Mind leaving behind your musical tendencies for a second and helping out a bit?" Baekhyun said, raising an eyebrow.

Chanyeol, snapping out of it just nodded lamely. "What would you like me to write?"

"I basically wrote almost everything... But you could write a conclusion about the scene."

They were analyzing Shakespeare. Hamlet. And, uh, one word: boring! Literature was filled with so many great authors and works and they were stuck with studying about a prince with family problems. "I don't like this…" Chanyeol sighed while accepting Baekhyun's laptop in his own lap.

"Uh… you only need to write 5 lines-"

"No, no, I mean Hamlet. I don't like Hamlet."

Baekhyun had a look between surprise, confusion and amusement. "Please elaborate."

"... I don't know. I guess it's not all that interesting -Shakespeare in general I think. No offence but I don't fucking care about the Danish royal family and its drama." Chanyeol said, shrugging.

Baekhyun seemed to think through this for a few seconds in silence. What was so thought-provoking about Hamlet, Chanyeol didn't know, but he noticed a shine in his eyes. He took a breath in. "I believe that a bit of the magic is lost because, in the end, this is supposed to be a play. You're supposed to be seeing this be performed on a stage, not just go through it word by word on paper. So… In that sense… yeah, Hamlet is pretty boring." he emphasized his last words by a single nod and a look towards Chanyeol.

Chanyeol was a bit at loss for words. He had never thought of it like that. "I've never thought of it like that."

"Well, now you have!" Baekhyun replied with a chuckle.

Chanyeol nodded, trying not to think too much about how cute Baekhyun was being right now, and went back to writing. Though he quickly decided that he didn't really like silence in between them so starting a conversation was his only choice. But it was kind of hard to chat with someone if you have nothing to chat about, so he instead just blankly looked around the room, in an effort to collect his thoughts. His eyes quickly fell on Baekhyun's bookshelf that, even if he'd seen it every single time he visited his neighbour's house, he had never really taken the time to really look at its contents.

"You seem like you're into literature quite a bit huh?"

Baekhyun was obviously taken aback by the out of the blue question. "Ah… you could say that yeah… I…" was he flustered or were Chanyeol's eyes deceiving him? Baekhyun, as far as he learned, was quite bold, not the type to get all shy over a simple question. "I want to be an English teacher someday actually. Hopefully." Baekhyun was looking at the ground, avoiding Chanyeol's gaze. Chanyeol felt something weird in his chest. "It's kinda lame…"

"No, it's not!" Chanyeol actually surprised himself by how quick he was to answer. "I mean…" he gulped, trying not to lose his cool. "Literature is a very important form of art and I'm sure it can be very interesting. And, I can definitely see you being an English teacher." It wasn't a lie. Chanyeol truly believed that especially now that it was mentioned, a teaching position would suit Baekhyun's kind and patient character pretty well. He could practically picture all the students raising their hands and Baekhyun answering gracefully their questions. Huh… wholesome…

"Really…?" Baekhyun shot him a look of both surprise and disbelief.

Chanyeol nodded and gave him a warm smile, that he was very glad to see that Baekhyun reciprocated at its full extend. "Tell me, who is your favourite author?" Chanyeol actually realized that he hadn't really had the chance to get this serious with Baekhyun before, so you bet your ass, he's not going to miss a single opportunity to get to know his little neighbour better.

Baekhyun seemed a bit more at ease but his cheeks were still a bit pink. "Um, I'm actually more into poetry." he paused to look at Chanyeol as if waiting for a reaction, but Chanyeol kept the same, patient look on his face (that he was really hoping wouldn't come off as creepy). "I… don't have a favourite poet, but I do really like early 20th-century poetry, especially from the time between the two world wars, it sounds kind of depressing at first but it's pretty diverse and… pretty in my opinion. Though, I really like some earlier stuff as well. And some later stuff. And some very modern stuff. I just- I really enjoy poetry. I'm rambling aren't I…?" he laughed, possibly to hide his embarrassment.

Chanyeol wouldn't admit how calming listening to Baekhyun talk about poetry was. He was feeling a warmth in the general area of his heart, that he attributed to the mere shock he was in. Okay, it was expected, given that he hadn't known Baekhyun for a long period of time, but he had never listened to him speaking so openly about… anything. Especially not for something he was passionate about. He kept a low profile on most things, not involving himself where he needn't. Chanyeol guessed that's why he was feeling so embarrassed, he was probably not at all used to talking about these things. Chanyeol was in fact kind of glad that Baekhyun chose to share this personal information with him, it made him feel as if he was a little more special.

"...why are you staring at me like that."

Chanyeol averted his gaze from his neighbour to the floor for a couple of seconds blinking in disbelief in himself, because now Baekhyun will think he is a creep, but he quickly brought his eyes up again before announcing his thoughts. "I believe that your love for poetry and literature is very nice," he said softly with an affirming nod of his head.  _ Congratulations Park, you saved it. This is totally what normal people say. Totally not creepy. _

Baekhyun didn't speak for a while, he just kind of… sat there… probably thinking about their little exchange of thoughts, but smiling a shy smile nonetheless (that Chanyeol couldn't really take his eyes off of but whatever). Silence had fallen in between them and, so as not to look any more awkward Chanyeol continued typing on his assignment.

"What about you?" Baekhyun asked while kicking playfully at Chanyeol's leg under the laptop.

"Hm?" Chanyeol was surprised by the sudden touch. What was going on today? Baekhyun both having a more serious conversation with him  _ and _ initiating physical touch? What do you mean Chanyeol was reading too much into it?

"What are you passionate about?" 

Oh, that was easy. "Music. A thousand per cent."

Baekhyun hummed knowingly. "What is the name of your band again?" he asked, kind of amused.

"I don't think I ever told you the name, we're the Padded Coats!" Chanyeol answered full of pride. The Padded Coats were in fact his pride and joy. He and his friends, being all musically inclined and being all loud obnoxious teenagers, had decided to form a band. What was extremely weird was that they were actually doing really fine for a band whose main practice venue was the bassist's garage. "We play surf rock mostly." (I mean of course they did)

Baekhyun chuckled at the name "What led you to name your band the Padded Coats exactly?" he was trying to sound disapproving, but he couldn't hide the genuine curiosity in his voice.

"Well, we were hanging out at a friend's storage room, that he had kinda re-decorated? to be more of a seating area?" he also accompanied this very detailed description with hand movements that he was sure wouldn't confuse Baekhyun at all, not one bit. "and basically his mom had in storage some padded coats there and we thought  _ 'hey why not' _ and yeah now we're the Padded Coats. You're welcome."

Baekhyun was laughing  beautifully at Chanyeol's theatrics and Chanyeol found himself smiling widely as well. "Well, to be completely fair, even if I really want the Padded Coats to make it big and I'd love to be a  _ 'big rock star' _ or whatever, I get that it's a difficult dream to catch… So I'll try my best to maybe study music at uni or something related, to have my mind at ease, you know?"

Baekhyun nodded. "I understand. I think it's a wise thing to do. Unfortunately, most artists can't really make it in this country."

Chanyeol hummed in agreement. It was really sad that he, and many other kids like him, couldn't follow a path in music freely. In any form of art actually. He'd given it a lot of thought before, but he understood quite quickly that the thought of his future and only made him very anxious. So he didn't really think about it anymore all that much.

"Yep. It sucks. Though you're welcome to attend our practices anytime." Smooth, Park. "I mean if surf rock is Christian enough for you." Aaaand he ruined it. It's not his fault, being his edgy rebellious teen self, he couldn't resist poking fun at Baekhyun's very religious stance. He knew it wasn't good, but he just had an urge to rile Baekhyun up. Though he'd never quite gotten the satisfaction since Baekhyun was a very calm and thoughtful soul, not letting petty comments and bad jokes get to him.

The shorter of the two just rolled his eyes. "Very funny," he said with a stoic expression, that soon cracked due to Chanyeol's laughter, that was for some stupid reason very contagious.

"I'm only kidding, you can come whenever. For real." he was hoping he hadn't been too offensive, and that his neighbour would take up on his offer. Thinking of it, having Baekhyun as audience sounded pretty sweet.

"Hmm… I will  _ maybe _ think about it. I'll ask my pastor." he said while side-eyeing Chanyeol in fake offence, before loud laughter erupted from the both of them.

Silence filled the room once again after that and Chanyeol was able to complete his part of the assignment. Later that evening, when he finally returned home he realised that the warm feeling from before hadn't really subsided. All he could think about was Baekhyun and how he blushed while he talked about poetry and how handsome he looked when he laughed and how he'd chew on his bottom lip when he was concentrating. Ah, this can't be good. Not good at all.

###

The next week passed kind of quietly, mostly filled by Chanyeol trying to force his mind to think of anything else apart from his cute neighbour (and sadly only half succeeding). He was walking up to 'the place', tobacco pouch in hand where he found Baekhyun, rolled cigarette already lit in his pretty fingers, talking to Sehun. The latter was the first to notice him as well.

"Hey, what's up." he greeted Chanyeol.

"Nothing much. School is as shit as always," he replied casually.

"Tell me about it, I've got History next," he said with a pained look, that was shared with both Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Their History teacher was especially awful, nobody wanted to be in that class. "So anyway, me and shorty over here-"

"I ain't short."

"-whatever, were talking about my party this Saturday. You up?"

Chanyeol was finding difficulty lighting up his cigarette while chuckling at his classmates' little antics. "What kind of party? At your place?"

"Yeah, my parents are leaving for the weekend, thought of having a small get-together." Seeing as Sehun was one of the notorious 'popular kids' at his school, Chanyeol doubted that this would be a 'small get-together' even if we're talking about Christian school students, but okay. "So you're coming?"

"Uh… Sure. Why not." he shrugged. He knew that it would be very different from the parties he was used to going with his friends (aka less punk rock), but an excuse to get drunk was always welcome anyways. And an excuse to possibly see a drunk, more relaxed Baekhyun didn't sound half bad either. Baekhyun was going to be there, wasn't he? "You coming too right?" he turned to his neighbour casually.

Baekhyun nodded with a chuckle. "I am basically his babysitter for the weekend. His mum made me promise her that her carpets would stay in perfect condition." he broke out in laughter at the end.

"It's not my fault that my mum trusts  _ you _ more with her house than her own son!" Sehun sounded kind of annoyed but laughing too in the end.

Baekhyun and Sehun were childhood friends. Even if they weren't all that close now in high school, they'd basically grown up together. Their houses were close to one another (and by proxy Chanyeol's was too) and their families were pretty close as well. He'd learnt Baekhyun's mother works at the same office Sehun's mom works in. No wonder Sehun's mum was so close to Baekhyun.

Chanyeol gave a little amused snort of his own. "Guess I'll see you there then."

"Guess so!"

###

Saturday came quickly enough. Chanyeol had returned home from his band practice just in time for dinner, which he ate almost too fast, and with enough time left to take a shower and get ready for the party. He had made sure to inform his parents that he'd be away for the night beforehand and weirdly enough they didn't give him shit about it so hell yeah.

After stepping off the shower he contemplated his outfit. His school made them wear a uniform (an ugly, very unfashionable, rat-grey uniform mind you), so to be seen by his classmates in his regular clothing was… a bit weird… He took a look through the pile of clothes that laid on his chair and thought about wearing his tight pair of jeans, the first piece of clothing he picked up, but he eventually decided against it. Honestly, he was feeling a bit tired, the idea of not going at all and just sitting at home crossed his mind more than once, though, in the end, he convinced himself that he'd most likely have a good time. Plus, not going might seem rude to Sehun. And he kind of wanted to see Baekhyun, but he won't tell anybody that. He took another look through his pile of clothes. Really, did he even own clothing that was any other colour other than black? What if he looked too intimidating?  _ Ah, Park Chanyeol, since when do you care about what people think of your appearance? _ He was on the verge of not wearing his piercings either. What if he looked, heavens forbid,  _ too gay _ ? Okay sure, he didn't exactly fit the definition of flamboyant, but he couldn't deal with the criticism of Christian schoolboys. The only person that had seen him in his casual wear was Baekhyun and... actually, now that he thought about it, he had said that he liked his piercings so… Yeah, maybe it wasn't a bad idea after all.

After regaining his confidence back, and after wearing a very  _ straight looking _ plain black hoodie and classic baggy blue jeans (and not taking out his piercings), and after announcing to his parents that he is leaving, he made his way to Sehun's house. At that time it was already pretty late so he assumed that most people must be there by now. Once he arrived he made his way to the living room, quickly getting used to the loud RnB music that was playing. Thankfully he'd been at Sehun's place before to hang out a couple of times so he didn't get lost (as he did the first time visiting his classmate's house). He took out his phone to text Baekhyun that he was in fact there, but he didn't need to because he heard his neighbour calling to him from the sofa.

"Hey, you're here!"

"I am!" Chanyeol replied before going over to greet Sehun, who was sitting next to Baekhyun, and his other classmates that were hanging out in the living room, already buzzed with alcohol (and other stuff if Chanyeol's nose was to tell).

"Yo, I didn't know you had that!" it was Sehun who spoke. Chanyeol turned to see him pointing a bit too close at his eyebrow piercing. "I dig it."

Chanyeol not really knowing how to respond just shrugged and smiled, wishing that he didn't look too awkward. "Uh… I need a drink…?"

"Sure, in the kitchen." Sehun pointed his finger the general direction of the kitchen, that was unfortunately not very helpful to Chanyeol.

"I'll come with you." Baekhyun suddenly announced getting up from the couch and leading Chanyeol to the kitchen. Not that Chanyeol minded of course.

In the room that Chanyeol assumed was the kitchen, since it was too big to really tell (Sehun's house was enormous), there was this table filled with bottles of alcohol of all kinds along with those classic red cups that were always featured in movies. With how many people he'd seen in his little time at the party, he was surprised there was any booze left.

"What are you drinking?" Baekhyun asked him, voice now clearer due to the music not being as loud in the kitchen.

"Uh…" he hadn't actually thought about that. "Vodka?"

"Just straight vodka?" Baekhyun grabbed the vodka bottle from the table comfortably, as if this was his own house.

"With lemonade if possible." Chanyeol suppressed a 'gay vodka' dad joke.

"Coming right up!" Baekhyun said semi-dramatically as he poured vodka in a cup before grabbing another bottle, presumably the lemonade and mixing the two liquids. "There you go!" he offered Chanyeol the cup with a kind smile.

Chanyeol tried not to think about the way that Baekhyun making a drink for him made him feel (even if it was just a dumb vodka and lemonade) and quickly took a couple of sips. It was strong, but the taste was good. He'd thought that Baekhyun would pour himself a drink as well but his neighbour just... stood there.

"Aren't you drinking anything?"

"Nope." Baekhyun shook his head.

Weird. "I don't remember any passage in the bible forbidding alcohol consumption," he said cheekily. Baekhyun didn't respond, but he did shoot him a look that basically said  _ really now? _ "How come?"

"I don't like alcohol all that much. Also, I'm a lightweight." came the immediate answer.

That was no excuse in Chanyeol's book. He wasn't one to judge, but he did find it odd for a person his age to willingly be at a party surrounded by alcohol and not giving in to the temptation, however much they sucked at handling it. "Come on, not even beer?"

"Oh, you know how it goes. One beer becomes two. Two become three and then it's not even beer anymore, it's gin tonics and-"

"Yeah, yeah I get the picture." he smiled. "Good for you, I guess you don't have to deal with the hangover either."

"You kidding me? That's the best part!"

Yes, hangovers were really shitty. They made their way back to the living room with all the other people. A part of Chanyeol was still a little tired and just wanted to hang around Baekhyun since he didn't really have any other friends, but he was afraid he'd be overbearing and then Baekhyun would be annoyed with him and that would be bad. All the seats on the couches and the armchairs were taken so they took it to sitting on the floor, as a few others were doing as well. Everybody was talking loudly, telling jokes and funny stories (and blatantly flirting of course - it's a high school party), it was pretty chill even if it wasn't the environment Chanyeol was used to as far as parties went indeed. The familiar faces helped put him at ease and with the additional help of his drink, soon enough he found himself enjoying the company.

Baekhyun's comfortable and relaxed attitude was also quite relaxing on its own. He watched as his neighbour bickered playfully with Sehun and laughed along with everyone. Baekhyun just acted so naturally, obviously comfortable around his classmates whom he knew for years. It was nice, in some way. Chanyeol didn't really feel like drawing too much attention to himself though, he didn't participate as actively in the conversation but he was listening and paying attention to his classmates (and all the other strangers in Sehun's living-room), laughing along. He still felt a bit awkward, even though he had to admit he was having fun.

Shortly after, he was out of booze so he excused himself and went to pour another one. He was in the middle of finishing up his cup of rum and coke (the vodka had run out) when two kids from his English class called out to him and invited him to play beer pong with them at the dining room because they needed one more person on their team. They seemed already kind of wasted and he had half a mind to just return to his seat beside Baekhyun and the others but, what the hell, why not? So he found himself in front of a table with cups full of beer on top, surrounded by people he'd never seen before on various levels of drunkenness. It was a bit funny. He'd actually never played beer pong before so someone had to explain the rules to him. And to no one's surprise, he was really fucking shit at playing beer pong while the opposing team wasn't, so he ended up drinking half the table's content in beer. He was starting to feel really buzzed and with the rest of the people around him not being in a much better state, he could feel his abs hurting from how much he was laughing whenever he or someone else made a particularly bad shot or whenever someone said anything even remotely funny. But he was also getting kind of frustrated because he just kept on missing the other team's cups so he kinda just gave up and left the dining room. Also he really, really had to pee.

After finding the bathroom with difficulty, thankfully finding it empty, he went inside to do his business. And lost his balance and almost fell over. He must have been very tired.

Finished now and feeling refreshed, he made his way out on the backyard, where people were swimming in the pool, most probably intoxicated since many of them still wore their clothes. Chanyeol thought it was a bit yucky. He took out his phone and sent a video of the people at the pool, that ended with a very unflattering shot of his face, to his friends. He'd informed them that he'd be out partying, so he thought that video proof was a good idea. He knew that his friends couldn't care less about a rich boy's backyard pool but he was feeling a bit tipsy so he didn't care.

He noticed a group of people he knew smoking a bit further by a tree, Chanyeol couldn't tell what tree it was but it was very tall. The urge to smoke quickly overtook him so he walked up to them, greeting them a little too loudly and quickly rolling a cigarette for himself. It was always better to smoke with company anyway. He just kind of sat there for a bit, his classmates asking him if he'd seen the recent football game to which Chanyeol replied with a very elegant "why do you people care so much about football?" which in turn earned him quite a few strange looks but Chanyeol couldn't find it in himself to care. The message that he didn’t give two fucks about sports didn't seem to resonate with the others though cause they kept asking him about things he had a very vague idea about, but to avoid any further possible criticism that he wasn't even able to really process at the moment, he tried his best to look as if he was understanding what was going on. Man, straight people are weird…

After putting out his cigarette and bidding his smoking company goodbye, he had the incredible idea of having a bit more alcohol in his system, so he decided to do just that. He went back inside and into the kitchen where he did his best to find a shot glass, and failing, so he used a normal red cup. To do shots. Modern problems require modern solutions, hey. But before he was even able to pour himself the shot, his eyes fell on Baekhyun at the other side of the room, who was chatting with two other guys that Chanyeol couldn't say he knew but their faces looked familiar enough so he guessed they must have been from his school. He was laughing, though Chanyeol couldn't hear it, and looked like he was having a good time. A nice view overall. Just then, a couple of girls came up to them, but Chanyeol was met with the almost comical image of Baekhyun just getting the fuck out, painfully obvious the fact that he was just not up for talking to those girls and making his way towards the makeshift bar almost running. Once their eyes met, Chanyeol couldn't help but laugh.

"Not in the mood huh?" he said playfully.

Baekhyun shook his head, also laughing. "No not one bit."

"What did those poor girls ever do to you, for you to avoid their company?" Chanyeol continued theatrically.

Baekhyun smiled and shrugged. "They only came to flirt and I'm not really down for it," he said a little quietly. I mean, as quietly as one could talk in a party with loud music playing, and still be audible. Chanyeol thought he heard his neighbour mentioning how one of these girls was into his friend but he couldn’t be sure. And why were his cheeks turning pink out of a sudden?

Chanyeol would like to think that Baekhyun had some issues with these specific girls because the thought that he might have had an issue with girls,  _ in general, _ was too much for him to handle right now. He quickly poured himself some tequila, downing it in one go.

"Did you just do a shot out of a normal cup?" Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.

"Uh yeah, I did."

"You know there are shot glasses right there…" Baekhyun nodded to the kitchen counter behind Chanyeol.

Chanyeol turned around and watched the stack of single-use shot glasses. Oh. "Who cares."

Baekhyun chuckled, presumably at his stupidity, or, as he liked to call it, his  _ charm _ . He fiddled a bit with his pockets but he eventually took out his tobacco and filter tips. "Want one?"

"Sure," Chanyeol answered, a gifted cigarette was never to be thrown away (his own words). He definitely didn't focus too much on the filter tip that was hanging between Baekhyun's lips.

Baekhyun had expressed his concerns with smoking near flammable material, that was the booze bottles on the table, so they'd moved a bit farther towards the kitchen door. Chanyeol had half a mind of pouring himself another drink, but he made the connection in his mind that if he drunk more, he'd probably end up doing dumb shit and since he was at a party with classmates that still thought of him mostly as the 'weird emo new guy' and also countless strangers, he for once decided that maybe making a fool of himself would be a bad idea. Look at him being responsible! Other than that epiphany, he couldn't really concentrate very well and Baekhyun was probably able to tell. So they kept their chat simple. They hadn't been able to meet up the previous day because Baekhyun's cousins came to visit so they didn't catch up with each other. And it was surprisingly difficult to actually meet up and talk at school so there is that. Baekhyun had asked him how the Padded Coats were doing, at which point Chanyeol blushed a bit because Baekhyun remembered the name of his band(!!!). And in turn, he'd asked Baekhyun about his cousins. He found that they came all the way from Korea to spend some time with their family, which was pretty sweet. Chanyeol was tempted to ask about any new book Baekhyun might have been reading at that time but remembering Baekhyun's flustered reaction the previous week, he decided against that.

He took the last long drag of his cigarette and out of seemingly nowhere, Chanyeol starting heating up, he was pretty sure his face was as red as a tomato and he felt the room moving weirdly around him for a second or two. Baekhyun seemed to take notice of this because suddenly his face softened.

"Woah there, you alright?" he said, putting a worried hand on top of Chanyeol's bicep. Chanyeol was a bit at loss at the skin contact and couldn't really form a sentence. "Wanna go out to get some air?" Baekhyun softly asked.

Chanyeol nodded, still a bit shaken up. He wasn't really worried because he knew that that happened when he drunk when he was already tired. He semi-blindly followed Baekhyun outside, but he was surprised they didn't head to the backyard, but they went out the front door instead. Once they were out Chanyeol immediately felt able to breathe normally again. Though not really, since Baekhyun was in his very close vicinity.

"It's quieter here. Fewer people." Baekhyun explained. And it was true, virtually no one was at this part of the house apart from the two of them and a girl who was talking on the phone, but even she went back inside soon enough. "Do you want me to bring you some water?" Baekhyun questioned as they went to sit at the edge of the porch, most likely unaware of how Chanyeol's heart was racing at the cute gesture.

"Nah, I'm okay, you don't have to worry. Just dizzy." Chanyeol tried to play it off cool. His mind was still pounding ever so slightly and he felt his stomach churning up, he took a deep breath and lowered his head to his knees. That should help, right? He took a couple of deep breaths and let gravity do its work, stretching his neck muscles.

Suddenly he felt a weird pressure in his head. There were fingers in his hair, hesitantly playing with the soft locks and ever so slightly massaging his scalp. Yep, he was pretty sure that his heart was just about to burst with how fast it was fucking beating because  _ holy shit Baekhyun was playing with his hair?! What the fuck?!  _ Chanyeol really tried not to get any ideas, ideas like that maybe Baekhyun's touches were more than friendly, ideas like that maybe he had a chance, he really did. So he pushed them all the way to the back of his head, focusing instead on the repeating relaxing motion, that was actually pretty good for his headache.

"This feels nice," he said, that came out kind of muffled due to his head's position.

Baekhyun only chuckled, hand still going through Chanyeol's hair. Chanyeol couldn't really tell for how long this lasted, but he was already feeling a lot better. He was feeling warm inside, though he blamed the booze. But after a bit, he heard a loud sound, courtesy of the door opening and a group of people leaving and just like that the hand was gone from his head.

He lifted his head, inhaling a deep breath as soon as he heard the door closing. He looked on as a group of guys drunkenly made their way out of the party, one tripping on the fence door that made Chanyeol chuckle. The thought that they were still at a party and that he was most likely holding Baekhyun back from his friends and all the fun, came crashing to him and he felt a pang of faint guilt rise up his throat. He'd like to be with Baekhyun for as long as possible, sure, but he knew the other was in no way obligated to babysit him because he'd been drinking. "Y-you could go back in if you want."

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. "And leave you all alone? What if something happens?"

Chanyeol thought that looking at Baekhyun's worried face for too long could be very bad for him.  _ Just why did he have to be so caring and thoughtful?  _ He had real difficulty processing that. "I'm fine."

Baekhyun smiled at him. "Well, I'm fine too."

"Don't you have to check up on the carpets though?" Chanyeol suddenly remembered Baekhyun's very important role as the Carpet Protector™. What if Sehun's mum got mad?

Baekhyun shot him a weirded look before laughing loudly. "I think Sehun can handle his own carpet."

Chanyeol couldn't help but laugh too. This was… very weird. He was feeling a bit disoriented and curious, he couldn't really explain Baekhyun's behaviour. He wasn't in the mood to think through things for now and to be honest, he wasn't really able to, he just enjoyed Baekhyun's presence next to him. He'd started small talk, literally about the weather. Because he was original like that. Good thing that Baekhyun didn't seem to mind. Their conversation came easy, as it always did. Chanyeol was feeling better by now, only a bit dizzy. But he noticed that beside him Baekhyun was shivering. He was only wearing a T-shirt after all and it was a mid-October night.

"Don't you have a jacket?" Chanyeol asked after a particularly noticeable tremble of Baekhyun's shoulders.

Baekhyun laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I... kinda forgot it at home…"

Without even thinking, Chanyeol took off his hoodie, now himself being left with only a T-shirt that he wore underneath, and offered it to Baekhyun.

His neighbour just chuckled in mild disbelief. "What are you doing?"

Uh… okay, maybe that was a less-than-good idea. But to hell with it. "You're cold, wear that."

Baekhyun, blushing at the boldness, took the hoodie in his hands but didn't move to actually wear it. "Won't you get cold?"

"I'm kind of overheating from the alcohol. It's fine, keep it." Well, not only from the alcohol.

Baekhyun reluctantly pushed the garment over his head, as Chanyeol did his best to not have a stroke. Baekhyun shouldn't look that cute in his hoodie but he did. "It's kind of big." he chuckled. Well, Chanyeol was in fact almost a full head taller so, yeah, expected. "...and it smells like you."

Chanyeol almost didn't hear the last part because it was barely muttered. But he did. And now his brain function is failing. Damn it, was he really losing control of his thoughts and actions over a boy? Get it together Park! "Well… It is  _ my _ hoodie…"

The conversation after that wasn't really different from before, maybe it was a tad bit quieter. Chanyeol was feeling functional again but he was getting very tired. He took his phone out to check the time and… when did it get so late? He was about to announce that he had to be going (he still had a curfew) but Baekhyun spoke first.

"It's getting late... and I have to wake up early tomorrow so…"

"Oh, I was about to say the same thing."

Baekhyun nodded, neither of them talking for a couple of seconds. "... Walk with me?" Baekhyun offered. And Chanyeol couldn't really see himself disagreeing.

After making sure they had all their stuff on them, and going back briefly to say goodbye to Sehun, they silently went out the gate of Sehun's house. Chanyeol's mind was racing, going 1000 miles per second because he still felt so fuzzy and warm but also confused and a bit worried. Apparently standing up wasn't the best idea because he felt dizziness again. They were walking, Chanyeol was left a couple of steps behind trying to concentrate on not falling over. He was tired.

"I'm tired."

Baekhyun turned to him and threw him a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, I'm pretty tired too."

The houses around them were quiet. A huge contrast to the huge party that was going on a few blocks away. It was peaceful, walking at night like that. With Baekhyun. Chanyeol felt at ease with him. He didn't really feel at ease with many people. And he was looking so beautiful right now, with only the light of one distant street light shining on him. But he guessed that Baekhyun always looked good, even when he was wearing his ugly school uniform.

They'd stopped walking now, just looking at each other. In hindsight, Baekhyun was just probably wondering why Chanyeol had just stopped in the middle of the road. Chanyeol couldn't read the look on his face, he was looking at him with an expression Chanyeol had never seen his neighbour wear, he couldn't quite explain it. His eyes were glistening as he stared at Chanyeol's face, he looked as if he was waiting for something. He kind of seemed to try and read his face as much as Chanyeol was trying to read his.

Damn, Chanyeol really wanted to kiss him.

He'd wanted it for a while.

He wasn't 100% aware of his movements, his brain emptying of thoughts. He took a few steps forward, he lifted Baekhyun's chin up and just did it. He softly pressed their lips together. He kissed him. He kissed Baekhyun.

And for some weird reason, Baekhyun was kind of kissing him back.

Chanyeol wasn't able to think. Doing the thing he imagined doing for so long... felt surreal. All he could pay attention to was how soft Baekhyun's lips were. How warm his palm felt as it cupped his face. How right and natural this felt.

It lasted only a few seconds.

Baekhyun slowly unattached their lips and took a step back. His eyes were wide and his cheeks were a deep shade of pink.

Panic was bubbling up in Chanyeol. What had he done? He'd actually kissed Baekhyun? He didn't even ask him if he wanted him to kiss him. Hell, he didn't even know if Baekhyun was into guys or not! What the fuck was he doing!? Baekhyun now would probably hate him and tell the whole school that the weird new guy was a big ol' homo. He is screwed. His life is ending. Send help-

"I-I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was-"

"It's alright," Baekhyun said, giving him a small smile that was unfortunately obviously forced.

Chanyeol's mind had completely stopped working, at least it felt like it. He couldn't even hear his thoughts from how fast his heart was beating. Seriously, fuck him and his boldness, why he could never learn? He was so dumb. Always complicating things when he needn't. 

"It's just- uh- there... might be people watching…" Baekhyun said in a barely audible voice, avoiding Chanyeol's eyes. It was the middle of the night, hardly anyone was out at this hour- "... And also you're kind of drunk…" he finally looked up to him with an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Oh." was all Chanyeol could say. That… literally answered none of his questions. He didn't know what to make of this at all.

"... Let's walk?" Baekhyun said after a few moments of awkward silence.

Chanyeol nodded and started walking along with Baekhyun. At least he didn't hate him right? Would he still be willing to walk home with him if he did? Fuck he was such an idiot.

Soon enough they were approaching Baekhyun's house. And that meant that they'd be parting ways. Baekhyun was looking oddly calm, but he always looked calm. Chanyeol could only imagine what was going on inside his neighbour's mind. He didn't exactly have the brain capacity to worry right now though. Maybe by tomorrow, word would be out that they'd kissed and then horrible things would happen. But that was a problem for tomorrow. That moment he couldn't think about any of that. Baekhyun was still next to him, walking. He hadn't yelled at him, he didn't make a fuss. He wasn't looking at Chanyeol either.

"Well, that's me." Baekhyun suddenly said. They were outside of his house. Chanyeol wasn't even paying attention to his surroundings, he felt numb. They looked at each other, not really knowing what to say. "You'll make it home in one piece, right?" Baekhyun had asked playfully that had Chanyeol smiling in the slightest as he nodded. Of course, he was going to make it home alright, he lived only a couple of houses down. "Good night Chanyeol." Baekhyun greeted, forcing a small smile.

"Good night Baekhyun." Chanyeol greeted back, still feeling awkward as hell.

And just like that Baekhyun was gone. Chanyeol returned home, making as little noise as possible and went straight to bed. He'd fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Maybe he'd wake up and all of this would be a dream. If he was lucky enough.

He was so fucked.

###

The next day he didn't go to church. His dad had scolded him for it, but Chanyeol was still very tired and a bit hangover so the last thing he wanted was to go to church. Also, he wasn't really ready to face Baekhyun. He had fucked up big time. He only wished that Baekhyun wouldn't mention anything to his parents because then, oh then he'd have a big problem. He'd woke up properly only a few minutes before his parents returned from church, his head pounding and his heart racing as soon as he'd heard the door open up. Thankfully, neither of his parents mentioned anything, maybe he was dumb to think otherwise. Practice with the Padded Coats in the afternoon proved to be an awesome distraction, even though he was messing up his chords a bit more than usual. His friends had asked how the party was and why he looked a bit off but didn't press any further after Chanyeol's dry response. He obviously wasn't in the mood to talk about it, he didn't really talk about boys to his friends anyway.

Monday morning was even harder, even without the headache. Monday meant school and school meant Baekhyun and Chanyeol didn't know what that entailed. He thought of skipping, but that would just look suspicious, and his parents would not be okay with that for sure. He really didn't want to listen to their nagging, he was having enough of it as it is. He decided he'd simply man up and own up to it.  _ Come on, Park, it's just Baekhyun _ . Baekhyun is nice and well mannered and sensitive to people's feelings, he knew that. There was no way this would change in a matter of one day, right? He'd be okay. Right?

And he was. He was okay. Baekhyun was talking to him normally, saving him a seat at morning prayer/assembly as always, waiting for him at break time to go to 'the place' together. Things seemed normal. Baekhyun was acting as nothing had ever happened between them. And even though he was feeling grateful that Baekhyun hadn't outed him (even if he was still the tiniest bit anxious about that), it felt like he was being outright rejected. But Chanyeol couldn't blame him. Not when he'd acted recklessly first. Rejection sucked, it always did, but he'd get over it. Chanyeol wasn't one to sulk over a boy after all.

The next days became easier and easier to go through, Chanyeol fell back comfortably to his routine. Honestly, things were so normal that if the memory of Baekhyun's lips wasn't so vividly imprinted on his mind, he'd probably forget they'd kissed all together. Though when Friday came around, Chanyeol felt awkwardness creeping up again. Okay, maybe Baekhyun was kind enough to treat him as he always did at school, but what about their weekly study meetups? He wasn't sure if he should ask Baekhyun to meet up as always or not. He doubted that his neighbour would want to spend any time with him in private.

"So, my place or yours today?" Baekhyun had asked him as they walked back to the main building for their last period.

Chanyeol didn't answer immediately, surprised by the question when in reality he probably shouldn't have been. Things were normal as always, right? "You can come over today. If you want," he replied trying to sound casual but he most likely ended up sounding plain dumb with the way his voice cracked. Baekhyun had shrugged, offering him a "why not" and didn't comment anything.

When his doorbell rang later that afternoon he almost didn't hear it on top of how loudly his thoughts were screaming. He pep talked himself as he descended the stairs to go open the door, saying that  _ the entire week passed by smoothly. You were fine. Things were fine. Baekhyun just doesn't like you like that and that is okay. You can do this Chanyeol, you're just going to hang out with Baekhyun as you've been doing for the past couple of months or so. It'll be alright, you've got this.  _

He greeted Baekhyun with a soft smile that was returned. They went upstairs to his room, sitting on the floor as usual and pulled out their books. They had tried talking for a bit, about a poem they had to work on for English class that Baekhyun had read before, about a new album Chanyeol had listened to. But it was so painfully obvious that they weren't at school and their awkwardness couldn't be hidden behind all the other people so they'd eventually fallen silent, each working on their homework individually.

Chanyeol couldn't really focus. The prolonged silence was too much, the anxiety and uncertainty would soon eat him alive. He still had so many questions. Should they talk about it? Did Baekhyun feel disgusted with him but was too nice to tell him to fuck off? What exactly was he feeling? And that quietness didn't help at all. He normally played music that filled the space, but he forgot to do it today. He wished he had something to say to break the silence but he was too caught up in his own thoughts.

"I lied to you. At the party."

Chanyeol's head snapped from looking at his book at the sound of Baekhyun's voice.  _ He lied? _ About what? He couldn't find any other response besides a very eloquent "huh?"

Baekhyun was smiling awkwardly, clearly finding difficulty with how to continue speaking. "I- do drink alcohol. A lot of it, actually. I just specifically don't drink around kids from our school." his speech was kind of slow and he was avoiding Chanyeol’s gaze.

Chanyeol was just… confused. Why was Baekhyun saying this to him? What was he even supposed to respond with?

His silence prompted Baekhyun to continue explaining. "I really am a lightweight, though, didn't lie about that!" he chuckled awkwardly. But he seemed to really think through his next sentence. Chanyeol was waiting patiently. "I kinda lose control when I drink. And I'm afraid that- uh-" he averted his gaze from Chanyeol. "You know how our school is. I'm just afraid that I will lose control and maybe… end up… kissing a pretty boy in front of them. Or something."

Baekhyun was looking at the ground, head lowered with an oddly sad smile, waiting on reactions to his little confession. Chanyeol couldn't believe his ears. Did- did Baekhyun just admit to him that he liked guys? Because it sounded like Baekhyun had just admitted to him that he liked guys. What? Sure, Chanyeol had wished for his neighbour to like boys, but he never thought that his highly religious neighbour actually  _ did _ . If Chanyeol had had a brain scan connected, it would be flatlining now. He didn't know how to feel. Should he be happy? Should he act plain casually? This just opened up so many doors. Or did it maybe close them? He had so many questions and his curiosity as always got the best of him.

"Would you... kiss me if you were drunk?" he was surprised by how stable his voice had been, though small. He knew that it was a risky question, he knew it, but he couldn't help but hope.

Baekhyun had lifted his head to meet his eyes. His face looked pained and so was the smile he wore. "Would you kiss me if you weren't drunk?" he'd asked.

Oh. He guessed that Baekhyun had been just as confused as he was, which was completely understandable. He'd just straight up kissed him in the middle of the road, neither of them did any explaining. But Baekhyun had shown a clear interest in them kissing and that was the only thing Chanyeol could focus on right now. He leaned over to where Baekhyun was sitting next to him and carefully pressed their lips together, going slowly or else he thought he would scare away his neighbour. "Does this answer your question?" he'd asked once he pulled away only a couple of seconds later. He was going all in, his heart was doing flips in his ribcage but he couldn't take it.

Baekhyun's face was reddening a little and he was smiling slightly now. "I guess it does," he whispered before connecting their lips again.

Chanyeol had managed to convince himself in these past few days that he'd never get to experience Baekhyun's lips on his ever again, so the feeling of Baekhyun kissing him -properly this time- made his heart feel a little weird. Baekhyun in general made his heart feel a little weird. He didn't know why. Their kiss was soft and slow and shy and a bit awkward. They took their time getting used to each other. Chanyeol wasn't used to kisses like that, but he wanted to kiss Baekhyun so badly he hardly cared. He cupped Baekhyun's face to stabilize the kiss a bit as Baekhyun threaded his fingers in his hair. This felt so nice. Even better than that previous weekend, because now he knew that Baekhyun also wanted to kiss him. This was good, Chanyeol was feeling all warm inside again. Baekhyun was a good kisser. He picked up the pace a bit and Baekhyun followed just fine, sighing a bit in the kiss. He was actually the one to initiate the next move, shyly licking Chanyeol's bottom lip.

"That is  _ so _ not Christian of you," Chanyeol said shaking his head that had both of them laughing.

"Shut up!" Baekhyun said in return before returning to kissing Chanyeol senseless.

After a while of slowly exploring each other's mouths and familiarizing themselves with how the other's lips felt on their own, Chanyeol started to feel a slight strain on his neck. Their position wasn't the most comfortable so Chanyeol did the only thing that made sense to him and that was softly pushing Baekhyun on the floor. That of course gained him a small yelp of surprise, but Baekhyun eventually didn't seem to mind. Having Baekhyun under him felt also very nice, his mind going all kinds of places. He wanted to touch, to feel, to explore with his hands as he'd imagined for so long. But he restrained himself, because going slow was what felt correct now. Baekhyun wasn't making any further moves either, except maybe tightening a bit his grip on Chanyeol's hair. He was feeling good. He could get used to kissing Baekhyun for sure.

_ "Chanyeol, I'm home!"  _ Chanyeol's mother's voice was heard from downstairs.

The kiss was abruptly stopped, Chanyeol cursing under his breath as he slowly got up back to sitting on the floor, facepalming. He'd forgotten that his parents would be back from work at this hour. Baekhyun was still laying on the floor, face red and smiling in the tiniest. He looked extra cute when he blushed, Chanyeol thought. Just then there was a knock on the door and Baekhyun, startled, quickly sat up.

"Oh hey, Baekhyun! You're here as well?" Chanyeol's mum asked smiling.

"We're studying," Chanyeol said with a slightly annoyed tone as Baekhyun politely waved at her. He couldn't believe his mum almost walked in on him making out with his neighbour.

"I can see that!"

"Where is dad?" Chanyeol asked, trying not to sound suspicious. His parents worked together so it was very rare that they didn't return from work together as well.

"Oh he had a last-minute meeting, he should be back soon. Baekhyun dear, you don't have to go, do you want to stay for dinner?"

Baekhyun most likely surprised at the invitation (he'd never dined with Chanyeol's family before) looked at Chanyeol with a wondering look for a split second. "Only if it's okay with you," he answered smiling as always.

Chanyeol's mother nodded before closing the door and heading downstairs. Chanyeol locked eyes with Baekhyun, both of them had a very embarrassed expression. After a couple of seconds of trying to comprehend what had just happened, both of them couldn't hold back their laughter any more. When it died down they were left once again staring at each other and smiling like dumbasses. Chanyeol knew they still had many things to clear up, but right now he was just feeling happy and relieved as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was in all honesty, weird and new and for some reason, he couldn't get enough of it.

Something good was starting, he was sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> well, that's it!  
> i dont have high expectations from this but i hope you enjoyed it!  
> i actually wanted to expand this story a bit more, but i was satisfied with how this came along so i posted. Else, i would probably keep editing it and adding things forever and i would have never uploaded it.  
> basically i might write a bit more but who knows :)  
> thank you for reading <3 any type of feedback is welcome!


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